First, please understand that I want no part in ruining someone’s relationship. To cause someone pain is the very last thing I want. I am not here to get advice on how to “get him to break up with her”. I’m here to share my story and perhaps hear back from others who have experienced the same thing.
I met this man a few years back, and there was instantaneous physical attraction to him. We had run into each other a few times, briefly spoken and that was all. But soon we became inadvertently involved in the same projects, and our friendship continued to grow… or rather, I became emotionally attracted to him as well. He knows how I feel about him, because I told him. Perhaps not the extent, but that there are definitely feelings. Obviously, since he has a girlfriend, I also told him that I would say or do nothing to try to change that and we continued to hang out more and more.
He is very kind to me and treats me well. We both listen to each other, and I feel as though I can trust or tell him anything. I believe he feels the same about me, because he has talked about many things that are clearly personal matters, and mentions his girlfriend to me on occasion, even telling me that things aren’t going well. I, of course, try to steer him in the direction of trying to work things out with her, because I assume he is happy with her and I DO like his girlfriend too. Even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be something I would try to work to my advantage.
So, if you are looking for ways to break it off without saying it aloud, here are seven ways to get your boyfriend dump you.
- Start Acting Distant
Remember in the first throes of love how you used to constantly calling each other because you couldn’t stay apart? Well, if you want your boyfriend to dump you that behavior is a big no-no. Instead, it is time to put some distance between him and you. Start by not answering his call or responding to his text messages. In case you do talk to him, tell him you are busy and can’t speak to him. Or, if you have made plans to go on a date, call up the last minute and tell him you have something else to do. Once you start acting distant, your boyfriend will figure it out that you are avoiding him and don’t want to spend time with him. Sooner (or later) he is bound to call the relationship off.
- Behave Like Me Know-it-All
No man likes to be in a company of a woman who believes she knows everything there is to know. And, this is one of the best ways to get your boyfriend to dump you. Show him at any given opportunity that you are always right, and keep rubbing it in. Adopt this attitude even if you are not right. Begin to nitpick everything he does or says; suggest doing things your way because it is the ‘right’ way.
- Flirt with Other Guys
Jealousy has killed many relationships. So, why should yours be any different? Jealousy comes from being insecure, paranoid or obsessive. Hence, if you have this clingy and needy boyfriend you no longer want in your life, stoke that jealousy by flirting with other guys. Bat eyelashes at men, sashay around, and dole out your mobile number like hot cakes.
- Become Clingy and Needy
Nothing is more off-putting than a partner who is needy, clingy and insecure. A healthy relationship means having friends and pursuits beyond your partner and relationship. But, you can use this to your advantage. Accuse your partner of not making time for you; spending too much time with his friends or hobby; and eying other girls. Then begin insisting you constantly want to be with him and you do not have a life beyond the relationship.
I know a lot of you will think, “Why does she continue to hang out with him if she’s obviously unable to have him?” Because though in my heart of hearts, I DO desire a relationship with him, I also have never been the kind of person to back away from a friendship unless that person was deliberately hurting me… and I don’t think he IS deliberately hurting me. Well, the hurt just comes from my desire being unrequited and of course worrying about “what if” he decided to begin something with me (only if it were after leaving his girlfriend, in what my deepest of hopes would be a mutual decision between him and her where there is as little hurt as possible) and worrying if he would just do the very same thing with another girl… and worrying about his girlfriend (who has seemingly accepted our friendship), possibly getting hurt in the end.
I want what is best for everyone but I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Though I have nights where I feel sad, I AM okay with him being my friend. Just having him near is good enough, knowing that he cares about me in SOME healthy way.
That is the extent of it. I know I’m continuing to get my hopes up, but I also know the reality of it. I know he may not even be infatuated with me, and that I might just be reading too much into it. I know I may be in love with the “idea” of him, though I personally feel that isn’t so… every possible outcome I have gone through several times.